Something He Didn't Know
by Hyperteenager24
Summary: Crappy language kink fic that wouldn't leave me alone


Vetinari managed to bite back another exasperated sigh that had been threatening to leave his mouth…. It was unprofessional to sigh in front of the Head of the Rat-Catchers' Guild. It was best not to disrespect a man like this, not with the ever-growing rat problem.

Meetings like this were just a normal day-to-day thing. Reading people cam easily to him, and from there it was easy to smooth ruffled feathers (often literally when it came to the wizards of this city). Now, he didn't care if they left with a happy face or a disgruntled one, he just needed to keep the cogs of the city moving.

This, however, was a completely new problem. The Head of the Rat-Catchers' guild was a woman, the first woman to ever rise this high in the guild and this deserved a small celebration and tiny column in the Ank-Morpork news.

Literally…. Only the rats would read it, and they were unlikely to be as impressed.

She was a woman… A woman who only spoke a rat-version of Vanglemesht. Just Vanglemesht would have been fine, and he might have been able to squeeze by on his rusty knowledge of rat-speak, but the combination of the two was honestly a little bit flummoxing.

Not that he'd ever show that.

When Drumknott then knocked on the door, signing that he'd found a translator, Vetinari resisted the urge to sigh in relief, mentally reminding himself to give the man a raise for making his day so much easier.

And then Commander Vimes walked into the room.

"My apologies Commander." Vetinari sighed, "I won't be much longer."

A wicked smile appeared on the Commander's face, "Actually Sir, I'm the help that Drumknott managed to get."

The only reaction Vetinari allowed himself, was a small raising of the left eyebrow. "You speak… this?"

The answer Vimes gave sounded very similar to the language the young woman was speaking.

"How did I not know about this?" Vetinari acted as though it was just 'another one of those things', even as he felt a curious sensation in his stomach.

"You never asked." Vimes then turned his attention to the young lady and started chatting with her.

From what Vetinari could pick out, they were talking about family.

Riveting.

…

Later that evening, the sound of Vimes speaking a foreign language filled Vetinari's mind, preventing him from focusing on the paperwork in front of him.

As Lady Sybil took care of her dragons, Vetinari seized his opportunity to speak to the Commander.

"So, care to tell me where you learnt to speak that combination of languages?" he asked, "As far as I know, it isn't covered in the Police Academy."

Vimes, who was leaning out of the window, lit up another cigar. "…. You really want to know?"

"I did just ask."

"You won't like the answer."

Vetinari narrowed his eyes at the man's back, silently waiting for him to speak up.

"You really won't like it."

Silence.

Vimes sighed, "Alright… an old partner of mine used to speak it."

By the way he said partner, it was clear that the person was something more to him. The uncomfortable sensation bubbling in the pit of his stomach was unfamiliar to Vetinari, and something to be considered for a late time.

"Interesting." Vetinari's voice was low and dangerous, "You will have to teach me I think."

"More meetings then?"

"I was thinking in a different location." Vetinari gracefully rose to his feet, grabbing Vimes's collar and pulling him out of the room and towards the master bedroom, spurned on by a mischievous wink from Lady Sybil.

Ignoring Vimes's protests, Vetinari pushed the man down on the bed, before climbing on top of him.

"Speak." He ordered, as Vimes rolled his eyes.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything."

The words that came out of Vimes's mouth, Ventinari pulled back and frowned. "I recognise at least one of the words in there… what would Lady Sybil think about your language?"

"Don't let her fool you. She likes it… and she swears more than me sometimes."

Vimes wondered how he got himself into this situation. One minute, Drumknott had been looking for someone who spoke an unusual combination of languages. The next minute he was finally getting one over at Vetinari, and now he was pinned to the bed by the same man.

He bet this didn't happen to other Nightwatch commanders.


End file.
